thinking differently will extend your life
According to our Episode 11 guest, the one and only Chip Conley, midlife ranges from 35 to 75. Yes, you read this correctly. This is a complete redefinition of midlife. Chip suggests that we adopt a more flexible and open growth mindset to shake things up and make the most of our second halves.
When was the last time you were a beginner at something? When’s the last time you learned something new through trial and error? Chip tells the story of an 89 year old woman in one of his courses at Modern Elder Academy who talks about writing her first novel. Now that takes a very different mindset from your typical person of that age. But why not start NOW.
Since interviewing Chip I’ve adopted his practice of keeping a “Wisdom Book”. He started this decades ago when he founded his first hospitality company, and continues it to this day. I’m finding that hand-writing the key lessons of the week, be they emotional, physical, mental, spiritual – you name it – is a great way to keep track of lessons and instincts. And by writing them down they are further committed to memory. Chip used the term “metabolized wisdom” - the idea being that writing it down and reviewing it regularly makes it a part of our being.
This season we’ve talked a lot about how to support men in their emotional journeys at midlife - overcoming the “boys don’t cry” stereotype, embracing vulnerability, and building trusted relationships and communities around ourselves (which science has proven extends life). Chip takes this to the next level and suggests even more carefully cultivating the friendships that matter most to us but actively investing in them. For instance, schedule two meals per month with friends you value. Approach this time with an open mind and vulnerability, seeking advice and perspective.
As someone who’s run businesses from start-up to scaled up, I loved Chip’s story about the value of feedback. In one of his exercises he asks his direct reports to name the “five adjectives” they want to be known for – and then they 360 that individual’s team for feedback. Typically, only one in five adjectives match-up, offering a huge opportunity for feedback, self awareness and change.
Why not ask the people that matter most in your personal or business life about the five adjectives that best describe you? Will you like what you hear? It’ll be an opportunity for a little discomfort and a lot of growth.
Top 5 Take-Aways From Episode 11:
Embrace the Growth Mindset: Reflecting on Carol Dweck's concept, Chip emphasizes the importance of a growth mindset in midlife. This involves focusing on improving oneself rather than proving oneself and being open to learning and new experiences.
Document Your Wisdom: Chip shares his practice of maintaining a "wisdom book," where he documents life lessons weekly. This practice helps in metabolizing life experiences into wisdom that can guide us through the second half of life.
Value Social Relationships: Investing in social relationships is crucial for longevity and happiness. Chip suggests treating friendship as a practice, like any other important aspect of life.
Emotional Authenticity and Vulnerability: Especially for men, being emotionally authentic and vulnerable can lead to stronger, more meaningful relationships and emotional resilience.
Adopt a Pro-Aging Perspective: Moving away from an anti-aging mindset can help in embracing the opportunities that midlife offers.
And what’s the payoff of reframing midlife and aging? According to research from Yale psychologist and author Becca Levy, simply adopting a more positive mindset about aging can add about seven and a half years to your life.
Jon
