The Cauldron of Divorce & Separation
Initially, this was the title we chose for the podcast (yes, Divorced Dads Talk). You can’t say it’s not straight to the point.
As a divorced dad, I had the bright idea of trying to get other dads going through divorce to come and talk about their experiences – the idea being that this would serve an audience of men who need real-time advice from guys going through the same experience and willing to talk about it (yes publicly, on the air).
After talking to north of 50 men, we only had one willing to come on the air and discuss his own divorce.
So it dawned on us that men didn’t want to talk about their own divorces on the air (doh). The conflicts were pretty obvious when you think about it – the potential for blowback from a spouse, alienation of teenage kids, the risk of being exposed to friends and work colleagues.
We quickly pivoted to interview the best experts we could find in the area of Separation and Divorce – including family law attorneys, divorce coaches, therapists, men’s mental & emotional health experts, etc.
The interviews we’ve done and continue to do with experts have confirmed what we believed when we started out:
– That men desperately need what women naturally create for themselves: A support system, a community
– That men desperately need advice and support around separation & divorce
– That the stereotypes of “suck it up” and “boys don’t cry” are still very much alive
– That 51% of the battle for men is sustaining their mental and emotional health through the ups and downs of divorce (they think it’s mastering the process, but it’s not)
– That the experience can help men rediscover what is means to be masculine – that combination of strength & vulnerability which is so tested (and required) during divorce
It’s no wonder that we chose Separation & Divorce as the theme for our first season. If guys can get through this experience whole, healthy and more self-aware – it opens up a whole new vista for living a better second half.
